Puberty isn’t maturity. Growing older is one thing, but growing wiser takes effort, patience, and self-awareness.
The Prophet ﷺ once said:
A sign of a man’s good observance of Islam is to keep away from that which does not concern him.
[Status: Hasan | Hadith 12, An-Nawawi]
I find this so beautiful because it’s a simple tip yet so practical. Sometimes the greatest peace we can give ourselves is to just step away from things that don’t really involve us.
Studying revealed knowledge makes me realised how much it has shaped the way I think. One of the discipline of study we learned is Al-Jarh wa Al-Ta‘dil, which is a science that looks deeply into the narrators of hadith. Were they honest and trustworthy? Or were they known to lie and make mistakes? Is the chain of narrators connected to the original source throughout the time? Scholars would weigh every detail before accepting a narration.
And it made me think: if they were so careful about whose words to accept, shouldn’t we also be careful with the words we choose to say and the ones we choose to pass on? We are, after all, the narrators of our time.
Over the years, I noticed something about the most “unbothered” people I’ve met. They look happy and content. They’re not careless, they just spend their energy on what truly matters and that’s what keeps them at peace.
Gossiping doesn't really involve wealth or bloodshed, but the damage is parallel.
The bankrupt of my Ummah is the one who will come on the Day of Judgment with prayer, fasting, and zakah, BUT he comes having insulted this one, slandered that one, unlawfully consumed the wealth of this one, shed the blood of that one, and beaten this one. So they will each be given from his good deeds. And if his good deeds run out before justice is fulfilled, their sins will be taken and placed upon him, then he will be thrown into the Fire.
[Status: Hasan Sahih | Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2418]
Imagine spending years praying, fasting, giving charity, yet losing it all because of the pain we caused others with our tongue. Deliberately.
None of us are perfect, myself included. Sometimes our words may slip, and even with good intentions, the wrong choice of words can unintentionally leave a wound. If I have ever hurt you through my words or actions, knowingly or unknowingly, I sincerely ask for your forgiveness.
And if anyone has ever spoken about me in a way that may have hurt me, I choose to forgive as well. At the end of the day, we are all learning and growing. What matters is that we take the time to reflect, correct ourselves, and strive to become better than who we were yesterday. Personally, I welcome sincere reminders and honest conversations, because they are opportunities for me to grow.
Let’s all try to speak thoughtfully, act kindly, and focus on what truly matters.
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